I always feel a bit mixed about summer, I'm a total heat wuss, and would much rather be bundled up for the winter than in humid heat. Also, my work schedule changes, and I have a hard time getting used to it because I'm not as productive when my day hours are taken away. I've been feeling a bit down because I don't know if I have a true direction or focus right now for my future. I have time to focus on the projects I want but I feel stressed that I'm not busy and stressed, but then when I'm busy and stressed I just want to have time to do what I want. It's a vicious circle. Oh my mind.
I'm really trying to change my thoughts about summer. It's been great so far, and I even went swimming this weekend. (if you know me, that's pretty major) I am learning to embrace my free time, I know in the future I won't have this luxury. I just started a ceramics class from the university, and my teacher is a delightful russian grandma who scolds. Her accent is very thick, at times she is really hard to understand and says things like: "Clay is like voo-man, it like to be controlled."
It was nice to work with my hands and not feel like I need to be perfect at it, I'm just enjoying the time to be learning something new. A little summer camp. I think we all need a little camp.
So even though I think my life is still a bit aimless, I think it's important to just think about the present. I look too far ahead and it freaks me out. Right now I'm going to focus on making some friendship bracelets, throw some clay, and embrace summer as I should have all along.
I often get like this too and It gets worse when you have a kid. sometimes I neglect my blog for a while when I have no time to create at home and then everything falls out of place...it really is a vicious circle but I think thats our way of taking a break, i mean we are only human and only a machine can keep going and going and going! it's okay to take time for yourself, we are only in this life once and we can't be buried in making all the time.
ReplyDeletei can SO relate mackenzie. focusing on the present is probably the consistent thing i come back to in these times as well! we'll be alright :)
ReplyDeletedon't worry about it. look at photos of beach-goers and surfers and picnics don't watch too many tv programmes and eat and drink lots of nice things. it helps if you make plans with friends so you don't spend days getting tired of your own presence :)
ReplyDeletei think we all feel like that sometimes - a little aimless. it's good! it helps you figure out what's most important and get (or stay) on the right track.
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